Win-Win Solutions (latansa tani yezzz)
Gathering: A Time When I Won
In a go-round, ask students to complete this sentence: “A time when I feel as if I win is…” or “A time when I felt like I won was… .” Provide some examples, such as winning a game, attaining a goal, etc. You might begin with your
own example.
Agenda Check
How do you feel when you win? Because this is such a good feeling, we often try to “win” at many things, such as when we get into disagreements with others. Today, we’re going to look at a conflict, or disagreement, and possible endings for this conflict, one of which is for both people to have the feeling of winning. You will then have the opportunity to create a chart, or grid, of possible outcomes of the conflict that you see. During the Debriefing we will reflect on how to think about the win-win concept and share personal situations in the Closing.
Activity: Role-Play
(Note: You will need to select students beforehand and coach them to present a
role-play for the class.)
1. Role-play the following situation with another adult, with a student, or have two students prepare it beforehand. Freeze the action when the
argument is heating up.
Scenario: Kim is a third-grade student. She has been having trouble in math, and tomorrow there is a big test. While she is in the living room studying for this test and trying to work out some problems, her little brother, Marshall, comes in from school. Marshall, who is in the first grade, has had a hard day at school, so he wants to have some fun and relax. He turns on some music and begins to sing and dance around. Kim wants quiet, and the music is disturbing her. They argue.
2. Ask the following:
• What’s going on?
• What is Kim feeling? What is Marshall feeling?
• What are Kim’s needs? What are Marshall’s needs? It is important to discuss needs, because a good resolution depends on satisfying the needs of both children.
Activity: Win-Win Grid
1. Show the following grid of ways the conflict could come out. Boxes on the grid represent different types of solution to the conflict.
2. Divide students into small groups. Give each group a grid handout (page X) and ask the groups to come up with possible endings to fit in the grid, using the handout. They may have multiple solutions for each box. In order to complete the win-win section, both people must be able to have their needs met.
3. After students have had sufficient time to complete their handouts, use their responses to fill in the blank grid on the board or chart paper. Begin with the win-lose, lose-win boxes, then complete the lose-lose box, and fill in the win-win one last.
Debriefing
• What types of solutions were easiest to come up with?
• Which were the hardest?
• What would be necessary to accomplish the win-win solutions?
Discuss the importance of being able to listen to one another in order to hear the needs of the other person. If both people get angry and can’t listen, it’s hard to get to a win-win solution. If each person can be calm and listen to the other, it’s easier to brainstorm ideas to get to a win-win solution.
Closing: This Skill Would Be Useful With…
Have students answer this question popcorn style: Is there anyone in
your life with whom you’d like to get to more win-win solutions? Give
examples, such as brothers or sisters.
Extensions and Infusion Ideas
Teachable Moments
This is a conflict solving process that can be a useful tool for students to learn. It enables students to create numerous possible solutions to a conflict, rather than getting stuck demanding their first solution. A helpful way to introduce this tool is to demonstrate it with a current situation that the class needs to resolve. Displaying a chart with the following steps can be a reminder to
students to use the process when they encounter conflicts.
This format can help students remember a way to get to win-win solutions.
A. Ask, “What’s the problem?”
This step is meant to help people in a conflict focus on the
problem instead of each other.
B. Brainstorm some solutions.
Brainstorming is letting our minds think of as many different ideas
as possible to help solve a problem. Some ideas may be better than
others, but we want to create as many as possible without judging
at first whether it is a good idea or not.
C. Choose the best solution.
Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each of the proposed solutions. Come to a consensus about which solution would be best.
D. Do it.
Once people have agreed on the best solution, then they need to try it.
Curriculum Areas
Give students practice analyzing conflicts by using situations from stories the class is reading, situations in the newspaper, actual incidents in the classroom, or situations you think up. Present the conflicts to the class (puppets can be used) and have the class try to arrive at win-win solutions.
Connecting to Literature
Herb, the Vegetarian Dragon, by Jules Bass
(New York: Barefoot Books,1999) Gr. K-3
Summary: Because of Herb, the people in the kingdom and the dragons agree to live in peace.
1. Describe the agreement made by the dragons and the people. Is this a
win-win solution? Explain.
2. Meathook offered to help Herb escape if Herb would eat meat. Was this a necessary request? Why or why not?
3. Meathook said, “You can’t be different in the dragon world and survive.”
a. What does this mean?
b. Why is Meathook so afraid of Herb’s being different?
c. How does fear keep people apart?
4. What happens when you do something different from what your
friends do?
Hooray for the Dandelion Warriors!, by Bill Cosby
(New York: Scholastic, Inc., 1999) Gr. K-3
Summary: When Simone can play second base as well as Little Bill, he learns a lesson about being a real team. The team finds a win-win solution when they choose a name.
1. Would it have been fair for Little Bill to have kept his position at second base? Explain your answer.
2. Role-play the boys and girls using the ABCD Method (see page 51) to choose a name for their team.
3. What lesson did Little Bill learn about being a team player?
4. What is important when you play on a team?
Six Crows, by Leo Lionni
(New York: Knopf, 1988) Gr. 1-4
Summary: A war erupts between a group of crows and a farmer who tries to scare them away with a scarecrow.
1. Role- play the Farmer and Crows. Review the ABCD method:
a. Ask: What is their problem?
b. Brainstorm some solutions.
c. Choose your favorite solution.
d. Do it: Tell how they would carry out the solution.
Gathering: A Time When I Won
In a go-round, ask students to complete this sentence: “A time when I feel as if I win is…” or “A time when I felt like I won was… .” Provide some examples, such as winning a game, attaining a goal, etc. You might begin with your
own example.
Agenda Check
How do you feel when you win? Because this is such a good feeling, we often try to “win” at many things, such as when we get into disagreements with others. Today, we’re going to look at a conflict, or disagreement, and possible endings for this conflict, one of which is for both people to have the feeling of winning. You will then have the opportunity to create a chart, or grid, of possible outcomes of the conflict that you see. During the Debriefing we will reflect on how to think about the win-win concept and share personal situations in the Closing.
Activity: Role-Play
(Note: You will need to select students beforehand and coach them to present a
role-play for the class.)
1. Role-play the following situation with another adult, with a student, or have two students prepare it beforehand. Freeze the action when the
argument is heating up.
Scenario: Kim is a third-grade student. She has been having trouble in math, and tomorrow there is a big test. While she is in the living room studying for this test and trying to work out some problems, her little brother, Marshall, comes in from school. Marshall, who is in the first grade, has had a hard day at school, so he wants to have some fun and relax. He turns on some music and begins to sing and dance around. Kim wants quiet, and the music is disturbing her. They argue.
2. Ask the following:
• What’s going on?
• What is Kim feeling? What is Marshall feeling?
• What are Kim’s needs? What are Marshall’s needs? It is important to discuss needs, because a good resolution depends on satisfying the needs of both children.
Activity: Win-Win Grid
1. Show the following grid of ways the conflict could come out. Boxes on the grid represent different types of solution to the conflict.
2. Divide students into small groups. Give each group a grid handout (page X) and ask the groups to come up with possible endings to fit in the grid, using the handout. They may have multiple solutions for each box. In order to complete the win-win section, both people must be able to have their needs met.
3. After students have had sufficient time to complete their handouts, use their responses to fill in the blank grid on the board or chart paper. Begin with the win-lose, lose-win boxes, then complete the lose-lose box, and fill in the win-win one last.
Debriefing
• What types of solutions were easiest to come up with?
• Which were the hardest?
• What would be necessary to accomplish the win-win solutions?
Discuss the importance of being able to listen to one another in order to hear the needs of the other person. If both people get angry and can’t listen, it’s hard to get to a win-win solution. If each person can be calm and listen to the other, it’s easier to brainstorm ideas to get to a win-win solution.
Closing: This Skill Would Be Useful With…
Have students answer this question popcorn style: Is there anyone in
your life with whom you’d like to get to more win-win solutions? Give
examples, such as brothers or sisters.
Extensions and Infusion Ideas
Teachable Moments
When conflicts arise in the class, use the vocabulary of win-lose, lose-lose, and win-win to discuss possible resolutions. Encourage students to stay calm so that they can brainstorm possible solutions both students can feel good about.
ABCD Problem SolvingThis is a conflict solving process that can be a useful tool for students to learn. It enables students to create numerous possible solutions to a conflict, rather than getting stuck demanding their first solution. A helpful way to introduce this tool is to demonstrate it with a current situation that the class needs to resolve. Displaying a chart with the following steps can be a reminder to
students to use the process when they encounter conflicts.
This format can help students remember a way to get to win-win solutions.
A. Ask, “What’s the problem?”
This step is meant to help people in a conflict focus on the
problem instead of each other.
B. Brainstorm some solutions.
Brainstorming is letting our minds think of as many different ideas
as possible to help solve a problem. Some ideas may be better than
others, but we want to create as many as possible without judging
at first whether it is a good idea or not.
C. Choose the best solution.
Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each of the proposed solutions. Come to a consensus about which solution would be best.
D. Do it.
Once people have agreed on the best solution, then they need to try it.
Curriculum Areas
Give students practice analyzing conflicts by using situations from stories the class is reading, situations in the newspaper, actual incidents in the classroom, or situations you think up. Present the conflicts to the class (puppets can be used) and have the class try to arrive at win-win solutions.
Connecting to Literature
Herb, the Vegetarian Dragon, by Jules Bass
(New York: Barefoot Books,1999) Gr. K-3
Summary: Because of Herb, the people in the kingdom and the dragons agree to live in peace.
1. Describe the agreement made by the dragons and the people. Is this a
win-win solution? Explain.
2. Meathook offered to help Herb escape if Herb would eat meat. Was this a necessary request? Why or why not?
3. Meathook said, “You can’t be different in the dragon world and survive.”
a. What does this mean?
b. Why is Meathook so afraid of Herb’s being different?
c. How does fear keep people apart?
4. What happens when you do something different from what your
friends do?
Hooray for the Dandelion Warriors!, by Bill Cosby
(New York: Scholastic, Inc., 1999) Gr. K-3
Summary: When Simone can play second base as well as Little Bill, he learns a lesson about being a real team. The team finds a win-win solution when they choose a name.
1. Would it have been fair for Little Bill to have kept his position at second base? Explain your answer.
2. Role-play the boys and girls using the ABCD Method (see page 51) to choose a name for their team.
3. What lesson did Little Bill learn about being a team player?
4. What is important when you play on a team?
Six Crows, by Leo Lionni
(New York: Knopf, 1988) Gr. 1-4
Summary: A war erupts between a group of crows and a farmer who tries to scare them away with a scarecrow.
1. Role- play the Farmer and Crows. Review the ABCD method:
a. Ask: What is their problem?
b. Brainstorm some solutions.
c. Choose your favorite solution.
d. Do it: Tell how they would carry out the solution.
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